Today is my last first day of undergrad. I am not entirely sure how I feel about this. For as long as I can remember I have always been the girl that has just wanted to be done with school and start my life. I hated feeling like I was constantly in limbo between being dependent and being independent. What is so wrong with wanting to get through school and begin my career.. my life.
A lot actually… I forgot that in the meantime I was living my life and not even appreciating it.
Although I will still claim that my freshmen year was the best year, it was the end of my sophomore year that I decided to start enjoying college more (best decision I made).
Now that I only have 110 days until graduation (April 28), I can understand why I have this feeling of uneasiness in my stomach. For the past 18 years all I have known is school. The past four years have been all about friends.. and school. School is important, but I would have never made it through without my friends. All of my friends are within a 10 mile radius of me, I can see them whenever I want. What is going to happen when we are all separated? What is going to happen when I cannot just walk into Gardella’s and McFaddens and see 10-15 additional friends I did not come with? What is going to happen when I cannot lay in bed with my best friend all day watching youtube videos and drinking wine? What is going to happen when Jamie and I cannot just make spur of the moment decisions to go to Grand Haven and buy wind chimes for the apartment? What is going to happen to my life?
This feeling of uneasiness has nothing to do with school being over.. but everything to do with leaving my friends. I have spent the last four years of my life at GVSU with amazing friends and now I only have 110 days left with them. This does not seem entirely fair to me. I know I will still get to see a lot of them and talk to them, but it will never be the same. As much as I want to be done with school and be completely independent, I am not ready for this change. School prepares you for a career (well that is not entirely true, but it tries), however, it does not prepare you for the social change that will occur after graduation.
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