So You’ve Got Yourself A Monster-In-Law

In other words, you aren’t getting along with your mother-in-law.

Think about it. Someday you too could be a mother-in-law. Unless you never plan to have any children, that is. So, what kind of relationship would you want with your child “in law”?

One in which you fight, or one in which  your children can turn to you for support and love?

Let’s just acknowledge that right now you are at war with your mother-in-law.

Let’s examine the why.

Is it because you are a control freak? Is it because you have taken away her “baby,” and now you are trying to control exactly what happens next, even though for years she has been the one in charge? Maybe she is even a bit of a control freak in her own right.

Should you arm wrestle for the control?

Obviously not.

So, who has the biggest right to be in control? Mother or wife? I know what you will say, it is YOU.

But think about it from the mother- in-law side of this equation.  She still has the same hopes and wishes for her child that she has always had. Happiness, health, safety, love.  Long before you were ever in the equation, it was her responsibility to make sure her child had all those things.

She still worries. She still prays. She still cares. She still wants some of that control. She wants to be needed; in fact, I’m certain she needs to be needed. And your spouse probably senses that.

So if you find yourself in conflict, ask yourself this question….

Am I a  “my way” or “no way” type of person? If the answer to this question is yes, then maybe you are the problem.

Really think about it.

You might be hurting your future relationship with your own spouse if you keep insisting that you are the one in charge, and dismissing your mother-in-law’s feelings as unimportant.

You don’t have to “like” her, but you do need to get along with her. You do need to love her for the role she will forever fill for your spouse.

If not for you, do it for your spouse.

Grow up already. Stop the eye rolling. Stop the sabotage.

Give just a little.

Realize that she helped shape and raise this person you are now in love with. She deserves some credit. She deserves a bit of respect for that alone.

A little patience, understanding and a little of that “give” might actually be just what the situation needs.

Remember, one day you too, may be a mother-in-law.

Are you treating yours like you someday wish to be treated?

For more posts by Terri visit her blog When I Grow Up.

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