By Heather DeWitt (Guest Contributor)
Last weekend I wore heels in bed. But let me explain…
My fiancé and I won an amazing wedding package from a mid-Michigan photographer who held a contest on Facebook. Thanks to the support of over 500 family, friends and random strangers, we ended up getting a big discount on our wedding package, PLUS complimentary engagement, boudoir and “rock the dress” sessions. I’ll let you guess which one I was a bit wary of…
Yup, the boudoir photos. It’s not that I was against them; it’s just that I never really pegged myself as one to trot around a hotel room in lingerie, suggestively smirking into a stranger’s lens.
My first question was: what the heck do I wear? I’d seen plenty of photos of girls in garters and corsets, but it’s not like I had any of that laying around. Instead I chose something a bit more subdued, paired with my fiancé’s guitars, both acoustic and electric. I figured those would be the perfect props – sexy, edgy and covering all of the necessary body parts.
Speaking of necessary body parts, if those were going to show, I figured I better at least attempt to get in shape. When my exercise regime went out the window, I made an effort to eat considerably less than normal. But, alas, I’m a sucker for happy hour and spinach and artichoke dip so I decided I would spend a lot of energy summoning all of the self-esteem I could possibly muster.
And then the day came for the shoot and I found that all of that mental, self-schmoozing had disappeared. Luckily, I had opted to get my hair and makeup done for this special occasion. Two hours, lots of hairspray and fake eyelashes later, I didn’t even recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. I didn’t feel like myself. I didn’t look like myself. Is this how Kim Kardashian feels every day?
Before I could even ponder an answer to that question, it was time. Before we got started my photographer, who is the sweetest person ever, went through some photos she had brought and we discussed what poses and styles I liked. Then she asked a question I wasn’t prepared for: What body part is your favorite? I could list my fiancé’s favorites no problem, but I couldn’t think of something I loved. I avoided the question with a swift drink of my cocktail, which thank god I had prepared beforehand.
The first 10 minutes were painfully awkward (at least for me) because I was so gosh darn uptight. I felt weird wearing heels in bed and posing in skimpy outfits for someone who wasn’t a) a man and b) my man. But then she unexpectedly shouted Are you KIDDING me!? Look at this! And she showed me what she was seeing on her end. Two things happened when I saw that first photo:
1. I suddenly had an answer to the Kim Kardashian question. Yes, this is what Kim Kardashian feels like every day because Kim Kardashian gets her photo taken every day and she wears all that crap on her face because all that crap makes you look AWESOME.
2. The cocktails kicked in and it was game on from there on out.
But I didn’t get a sense of how awesome I felt until I got that first email containing a final photo. I didn’t think I would want to share any of them, but let me tell you that picture was everywhere in an instant: email, texts, Facebook messages. I had done what they tell every adolescent girl not to do with suggestive photos of themselves. I even agreed to let my photographer make me her profile photo on her boudoir Facebook page. I had clearly lost it.
But it also made me realize that these photos were for me. Sure, my honey will love them, but these photos have ultimately given me a self-confidence that I’m not sure I would have found on my own. They’ve allowed me to embrace all of the little imperfections I’ve worked so hard to eliminate in the past, and really love myself as a woman. A shapely, soft, slightly hairy woman who, even as she sits here un-showered in her sweatpants, feels pretty darn great about herself.
Heather DeWitt’s Bio
Heather is a graduate of Grand Valley State University, where she received a degree in advertising and public relations. After living and working in the city for five years, Heather moved to South Bend, Indiana to pursue a marketing and communications career with the University of Notre Dame’s Environmental Change Initiative. She now lives with her fiance, who is working towards his PhD at Notre Dame.
When she’s not working, Heather spends her time planning her summer 2012 wedding, decorating her new apartment and exploring all that Northwest Indiana has to offer. You can check out her wedding blog at S and H Wedded Bliss.